Friday, December 14, 2012

MORE Christmas Jokes to Share

Only 11 more day to tell more Christmas jokes!

What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it!

Why wasn't the turkey hungry at Christmas time?
He was stuffed!

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him.

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep and crisp and even!

What carol is heard in the desert?
Camel ye faithful!

What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells, jungle bells!

What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
Sandy claws!

What is Santa’s dog called?
Santa Paws!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when the fire is lit?
Crisp Cringle!

What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move?
Santa Pause!

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe!

What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
Christmas Corals!

How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house!

What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
Santa's burps!

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.

Why was Santa's helper depressed?
He had low ELF-esteem.

What's a good holiday tip?
Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.

Why is Santa so good at karate?
Because he has a black belt!

Why did the candy cane cross the road?
Because it wanted to get a licking!

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.

What do vampires put on their Christmas turkey?

What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
I'll have a boo Christmas without you.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Donut who?
Donut open 'til Christmas!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Mary and Abbey.
Mary and Abbey who?
Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Gladys who?
Gladys not me who got coal this Christmas!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Santa who?
Santa Clause!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Snow who?
Snow use – I’ve forgotten my name again!


So... What jokes did I miss? Write them in the Comments Box!

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