Friday, February 1, 2013

Funny Jokes for Valentine's Day

I always love having a reason to look up a new batch of jokes. Whenever I do, I find ones I really like and call my family and friends and spring them on them. What’s not to like? 

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
I'm nuts about you!

What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day?
You're nuts so bad yourself!

What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean?
One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.

If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?

Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
No, but they had an apple.

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
I find you very attractive.

What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
You're fun to hang around with.

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
I love you a ton!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?
Hog and kisses!

Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pin cushion!

What did one pickle say to the other?
You mean a great dill to me.

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?
Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Olive who?
Olive you!

What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
"I've got a crutch on you!"

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
It was a case of guppy love.

What do you call two birds in love?

Why do valentines have hearts on them?
Because spleens would look pretty gross!

What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?
It made him wed his plants!

Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear?
Because the bear had many fine koala-ties!
"I can't be your Valentine for medical reasons."
"Yeah, you make me sick!"

What did one calculator say to the other?
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!"

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Ughs and kisses!

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine’s Day?
I Love Ewe!

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
I'm stuck on you!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Howard who?
Howard you like a big kiss?

What do you call a very small Valentine's?
A Valentiny!


I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day!

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