Friday, October 12, 2012

Halloween Jokes: Mummies, Skeletons, Dracula and Witches

There are lots of Halloween jokes out there. In fact, I had to make 2 Fridays of them. Here are this week’s jokes.

What is a mummy's favorite type of music?
Rap music.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?
Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!

What do you call a mummy eating in bed?
A crummy mummy

What do you call a little monster’s parents
Mummy and Deady

Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trombone

What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A mop (I love this one!)

Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts

What do skeletons say before they start to eat?
Bone appetite

Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?
Because he had no body to dance with!

Why don't skeletons play music in church?
They have no organs

How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle its funnybone!

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Spare ribs

Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
He was a pain in the neck!

What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
A nectarine

Why did Dracula go to the library?
He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!

What song does Dracula hate?
"You Are My Sunshine"

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building

Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club

What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound

Why didn't Dracula get married?
He never met a nice ghoul

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
At the casketeria

What is the problem with twin witches?
You never know which witch is which!

What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray

What do you call a witch's garage?
A broom closet

Why does a witch ride a broom?
The vacuum cleaner's power is cord it too short

What do they teach in witching school?

Need more Halloween jokes? No problem! Next Friday I’ll have a bunch more, this time about vampires, ghosts and knock-knock jokes.

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